Funny Marriage Quotations – Your Friday Smile

Friday night is a busy night for most folks, so we’ll keep this one brief…a few funny (and hopefully not completely negative and depressing) quotes about marriage to send you into the weekend!

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner

“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.” Joyce Brothers

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” Barbra Streisand

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” Agatha Christie

“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.” Oscar Wilde

“In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” – Rita Rudner

“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back!” Henny Youngman

“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” – Henny Youngman

“For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” Catherine Zeta-Jones

“Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn’t be a strain. Life has strains in it, and he’s the person I want to strain with.” Patricia Arquette

“I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.” Walter Mathau

“Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.” – Bob Monkhous

Happy Friday everyone!

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